Press it, you know you want to!

Over time my archived unread count became increasingly bloated and thus increasingly intimidating. Which of Merlin Mann’s five posts about creativity should I read so I can finally get the inspiration to do something? Which friend’s flickr uploads are going to prove the most interesting? How will I avoid the inevitable awkwardness of complimenting Paul on his latest pics while failing to even notice Andy’s? The stress was insurmountable; anxiety is the last thing I need to be getting from the Internet. If I wanted to feel like that I’d play an MMO. At least then I could revel in my pretended magic abilities.

The solution to my problem was simple and scary: delete.

The reasonable side of myself concludes that I haven’t read any of this stuff and still, the world has gone on turning and I’ve still managed to have a great time. Subtracting, of course, the nagging feeling that I have to meet this wholly voluntary obligation for which I will be accountable to no one.

In opposition there is the sense that I am missing out on something good. However if examined, this thought process has little foundation. For instance, consider the tremendous amount of knowledge being transferred through the air and between electronic miracle machines via mystically named fiber-optic cable. Every day, every person, every second misses an incomprehensible amount of information; from Hawking to Uncle Hal.

I am thoroughly convinced that the work put into gathering information should be equal to, if not lesser than, the energy used in actually using that information. The essential root of it all is in the application. If Einstein never published his theories then nobody would know who he is.

Essentially, the key is to realize what is good information and what is bad information. Take in the good, ignore the bad, and then turn around and do something with all that quality stuff you learned.  In reality though, developing the talent of sorting good from bad information takes time, and so the ability to start fresh, cleaning out your inbox, your to-do list, or whatever is a great blessing.

All this is why today I deleted all my unread RSS Subscriptions. It was liberating and I was able to take a step in the direction of actually accomplishing something (this blog post for instance).

So where is the backed up stockpile in your life? Are you going to delete it?

Each individual can naturally expect to have unique and personal reasons for failing to keep their resolutions. Still, there are common threads, which, if understood and addressed, would make all the difference and keep our goals from unraveling shortly into the new year.

Unraveling Baseball

Clear Vision

Where there is no clear vision of a desired result it becomes impossible to exercise the willpower and determination essential to achieve. A lens out of focus does not lend itself to capturing a subject. Half the battle is to clearly define your goal. Do not focus on immeasurable vagaries like, “becoming happy.” Instead, focus on what you want to do or accomplish. Make the end result measurable not just by you, but also by even a child. The process will be confusing and difficult enough, so start on the right foot.

Simplicity

My profound overuse of commas is a likely indicator that, like a vast number of writers, I have a propensity to overcomplicate.  I am also guessing that anyone reading this most likely discovered my post via some social networking site, and thus, shares my predisposition.

The one nugget of advice I can offer is to set goals that you know you can handle, but which (for some reason) you haven’t yet accomplished. Nobody’s ever going to sponsor your expedition to the top of Everest with all that credit card debt. Simplicity in goal setting makes success a greater reality, and thus fuels your ability to tackle the bigger challenges.

Avoiding Burnout

It can be insurmountably depressing to toil in vain. Yet all too often our approach keeps us confined like hamsters in a wheel: working and getting nowhere. In order to avoid this you must first eliminate anything that is not under your control. Focus on what you can actually influence. Instead of making a goal to be healthy, which could be adversely effected by any number of outside forces, it would make more sense to concentrate on calorie intake, which you have direct control over.

In addition, give yourself the whole year to achieve the goal. If your objective is to get to a target weight, then break that resolution down into meta goals until you get to the point of daily tasks. Daily habits will affect the year’s outcome more than token spurts.

Accountability

Quite often I lull myself into vapid security because I’m the only one aware that I failed. We instinctively care what others think and often this is a powerful motivation. However, the true value of accountability is that an outside observer who is aware of our goal can offer invaluable insight and encouragement. It’s the same old “two heads are better than one” principle.  Find a respected friend, preferably one also looking for help with their goals so that at least one of you will follow through.

Physical Reminders

Among certain Jews a special article of clothing is worn called Phylacteries. Boxes kept in place by leather cords are hardly a modern norm. The source of this tradition is the following passage of the bible:

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
(Deuteronomy 6:7-9)

The phylacteries are an outward, physical reminder of an inward spiritual dedication. Chances that you’ll see somebody wearing them at the state pork festival would be slim. The physical reminder enforces a previous choice.

Jews in traditional clothing

Far from suggesting an alteration of clothing or intense accessorizing, I recommend placing reminders in the places you most often find yourself. It could be the bathroom mirror, your desktop, your door, or your cell phone; whatever works. Since thoughts are the seeds of action, a perpetual reminder is an easy and effective device.

This is no productivity sham-wow!

There is no  one program or method that is correct. Remember that the object of this reflection has been to cover the commonalities in my failed attempts. Fix-all systems are empty promises. That is why I’d like to hear what works for you. Let’s discuss what your goals for the upcoming year are and how you plan to realize them. I will do the same.

When we build our bridges on false hopes disappointment is guaranteed.

The other day a large group of friends and I went to see a movie. Afterward we were figuring out our plans for the rest of the night. One of our chums who wasn’t there had sent a text message asking us to please organize something and tell her because she “wanted to hang out with everyone.” To this my good pal Joe rebutted, “if she wanted to hang out she would’ve been here.” Some may jump on this comment, writing it off as nothing more than an oversimplification, but an examination of what Joe said provided a profound epiphany: actions speak louder than words.

People essentially do what they want. Desires are the seeds of action, therefore we make our choices based on incentives that, whether in reality or not, offer what we desire. If our friend, for instance, had really wanted to be with us more than anything else she would have modified her plans.

This idea affects all interpersonal relationships. For a great read on how it intersects in the dating world I suggest The Brad Pitt Rule by Brett and Kate McKay over at The Art of Manliness. In essence, if you ask someone on a date and they make an excuse without offering an alternative then obviously they don’t want to go, or at least not bad enough to work for it. Do you really want to go on a date with someone like that? Move on! The concept fits in with family relationships, work relationships etc.

However useful it is to take people for their actions instead of their words, caution must be used. This principal should not give room for extreme cynicism and finger pointing and accusations of hypocrisy. Don’t invest any emotional stock in a vain hope; however don’t go on expecting disappointment at every turn. The healthy route is to have realistic expectations of others and work from there.

The most practical use of this idea can be found in how we deal with our assumptions. For instance, your roommate always promises to take out the trash, yet seldom does. Do you really have a right to be angry at him for not following through when he doesn’t for the millionth time? Instead just take the trash out yourself, or become comfortable with the fact that it’s not going to be done. Worry less about making others change and focus on what you can do.

A Zipo lighter uses the friction of flint to create sparks which ignite lighter fluid.

Today’s lunch break was when I had my epiphany. I decided I needed something at least marginally healthy to make up for this week’s dietary disaster. Therefore, I made my way to the Jack-In-The-Box on the corner for a salad.

Pulling in, I quickly became discouraged as I beheld the ten-car line waiting in the drive-through. I parked my car and made a trip inside. The line was just as long indoors as out, except instead of cars it was now made up of what appeared to be completely degenerate pre-human hominids wearing mostly flannel and denim.

Finally it was my turn to order. I ordered my salad, paid my dues, and got my number. I was a full 15 orders behind the last that was called out. Disconcerting. At least that is, until my number was called after only a minimal wait.

Here’s what I realized: salads are pre-made.

Some poor minimum-wage-earning kid makes several in the morning so they’re ready to go. All it took the worker was a simple opening of a fridge door and my salad was DONE. I can not express in word nor song the glorious jubilance that filled my soul. Not only was I eating healthier, but I was effectively trimming half an hour off my wait time.

This got me thinking: are there other times when I take two negatives and somehow the combination of the twain becomes a positive? In life we tend to view external forces as a hindrance, yet like friction between two objects creating fire, sometimes these annoyances can actually create a useful tool.

I’d love to hear some feedback on circumstances in your life that have forced you to make unusual decisions but which turned to your benefit.

Photo by Tony Case

Let’s face it, most of us are not time-crunched executives who briskly move through downtown carrying a suitcase to very important business meetings. Yet most productivity advice (which is available in abundance on the webbernet) seems to be geared toward this small, professional segment of society. However, the tools are there for Mr. Everyman to grab a hold of and use for his betterment, it simply takes some creativity and a willingness to try.

These concepts are not new, yet the majority of us don’t use them. Aluminum was known for quite some time, yet the process for extracting it was immensely difficult. The substance we wrap our leftover meatloaf in was once more valuable than gold. It took ingenuity to find a way to make aluminum cost-effective.

This brings us to the topic at hand. I used to have a weekly planning meeting. I kept it up for years until I realized that it was usually a huge waste of time and, in spite of my effort, never felt any more organized. The concept resonated with me, yet it actually provided little benefit. At least, not until recently.

Strangely, I’ve decided to make amends with my estranged friend, the weekly planning meeting. It has worked quite well. Here’s what it took:

1. A new system

2. Simplification

3. Dedication

A New System

As my last foray into planning sessions seemed to waste massive amounts of time, I made it a point this time around to set a limit. It would be absurd to spend more time planning than living.

One aspect of my former ways that I kept is extremely important: sessions must be the same time each week. This time is sacred and cannot be sacrificed without throwing a stick in my spokes, sending my head first into the asphalt that is, “crap I forgot.” This is also why I try to make it quick. Make the sacrifice on your time as small as possible.

I chose Sunday as my day, but use what works for you. Remember that it is imperative you get started that very next day. Any lapse breeds procrastination on an epic scale. After planning you will experience some sort of excitement to accomplish your goals. Don’t let that enthusiasm die; the longer you wait the less likely you will do anything.

So what exactly should you be planning? My new planning cycle is based on four straight-forward questions.

• What do I need to do this week?

• What do I want to do this week?

• What did I fail at last week?

• What did I do awesome at last week?

A word of caution: focus on the To-Do’s. It can be tempting to daydream about working your way to the top of Google, but it’s not gonna’ happen if you never get on it and wash your stinky pants. You smell like a hippy.

Simplification

Avoid the temptation to draft world domination plans. That is not the purpose of this session. The goal here is to start your week off on the right foot and ahead of schedule. Make a reasonable time constraint and stick to it. This will do two things. First, it will make it possible to have a life outside your calendar, and second it will keep you from dreading these sessions in the future.

Have whatever tool you use handy, whether it’s index cards, a blackberry, your iPhone, or a calendar. Just put it down somewhere that you will see it. I myself use Google Calendar along with Remember The Milk. The point is, you need to do whatever works for you and NOTHING MORE. Don’t allow your techno-ego to ruin this opportunity. This strategy could be just as effective with cocktail napkins as a complex PDA.

Dedication

It sounds so very basic, but the simple fact of the matter is that you are going to find a million excuses to give up. Don’t.

Like any plan, this is always evolving. What have you found that works for you? What doesn’t?

A Zipo lighter uses the friction of flint to create sparks which ignite lighter fluid.

Today’s lunch break was when I had my epiphany. I decided I needed something at least marginally healthy to make up for this week’s dietary disaster. Therefore, I made my way to the Jack-In-The-Box on the corner for a salad.

Pulling in, I quickly became discouraged as I beheld the ten-car line waiting in the drive-through. I parked my car and made a trip inside. The line was just as long indoors as out, except instead of cars it was now made up of what appeared to be completely degenerate pre-human hominids wearing mostly flannel and denim.

Finally it was my turn to order. I ordered my salad, paid my dues, and got my number. I was a full 15 orders behind the last that was called out. Disconcerting. At least that is, until my number was called after only a minimal wait.

Here’s what I realized: salads are pre-made.

Some poor minimum-wage-earning kid makes several in the morning so they’re ready to go. All it took the worker was a simple opening of a fridge door and my salad was DONE. I can not express in word nor song the glorious jubilance that filled my soul. Not only was I eating healthier, but I was effectively trimming half an hour off my wait time.

This got me thinking: are there other times when I take two negatives and somehow the combination of the twain becomes a positive? In life we tend to view external forces as a hindrance, yet like friction between two objects creating fire, sometimes these annoyances can actually create a useful tool.

I’d love to hear some feedback on circumstances in your life that have forced you to make unusual decisions but which turned to your benefit.

Photo by Tony Case

Let’s face it, most of us are not time-crunched executives who briskly move through downtown carrying a suitcase to very important business meetings. Yet most productivity advice (which is available in abundance on the webbernet) seems to be geared toward this small, professional segment of society. However, the tools are there for Mr. Everyman to grab a hold of and use for his betterment, it simply takes some creativity and a willingness to try.

These concepts are not new, yet the majority of us don’t use them. Aluminum was known for quite some time, yet the process for extracting it was immensely difficult. The substance we wrap our leftover meatloaf in was once more valuable than gold. It took ingenuity to find a way to make aluminum cost-effective.

This brings us to the topic at hand. I used to have a weekly planning meeting. I kept it up for years until I realized that it was usually a huge waste of time and, in spite of my effort, never felt any more organized. The concept resonated with me, yet it actually provided little benefit. At least, not until recently.

Strangely, I’ve decided to make amends with my estranged friend, the weekly planning meeting. It has worked quite well. Here’s what it took:

1. A new system

2. Simplification

3. Dedication

A New System

As my last foray into planning sessions seemed to waste massive amounts of time, I made it a point this time around to set a limit. It would be absurd to spend more time planning than living.

One aspect of my former ways that I kept is extremely important: sessions must be the same time each week. This time is sacred and cannot be sacrificed without throwing a stick in my spokes, sending my head first into the asphalt that is, “crap I forgot.” This is also why I try to make it quick. Make the sacrifice on your time as small as possible.

I chose Sunday as my day, but use what works for you. Remember that it is imperative you get started that very next day. Any lapse breeds procrastination on an epic scale. After planning you will experience some sort of excitement to accomplish your goals. Don’t let that enthusiasm die; the longer you wait the less likely you will do anything.

So what exactly should you be planning? My new planning cycle is based on four straight-forward questions.

• What do I need to do this week?

• What do I want to do this week?

• What did I fail at last week?

• What did I do awesome at last week?

A word of caution: focus on the To-Do’s. It can be tempting to daydream about working your way to the top of Google, but it’s not gonna’ happen if you never get on it and wash your stinky pants. You smell like a hippy.

Simplification

Avoid the temptation to draft world domination plans. That is not the purpose of this session. The goal here is to start your week off on the right foot and ahead of schedule. Make a reasonable time constraint and stick to it. This will do two things. First, it will make it possible to have a life outside your calendar, and second it will keep you from dreading these sessions in the future.

Have whatever tool you use handy, whether it’s index cards, a blackberry, your iPhone, or a calendar. Just put it down somewhere that you will see it. I myself use Google Calendar along with Remember The Milk. The point is, you need to do whatever works for you and NOTHING MORE. Don’t allow your techno-ego to ruin this opportunity. This strategy could be just as effective with cocktail napkins as a complex PDA.

Dedication

It sounds so very basic, but the simple fact of the matter is that you are going to find a million excuses to give up. Don’t.

Like any plan, this is always evolving. What have you found that works for you? What doesn’t?

Rewind to four months ago. School was winding to a close and it was
becoming more and more apparent to me that I needed to make more money
then I was currently making. Actually, that’s painting a rosier picture
than reality. I wasn’t making any money. I had all but stopped taking
substitute jobs because I found the demands of school too much to
accomplish both work and study. This concerned me. I had obligations
and I needed to move forward in my life. Being single is fun, but only
in short distance. I was pulling a marathon. But how could I date if I
didn’t have enough money to even drive somewhere? The guilt of being 25
and still living at home weighed on me greatly as well.

Trying my best, I made it a matter of fasting, prayer, and dedicated
thought. It seemed there was some sort of block. I wasn’t getting any
inspiration, it seemed every avenue was blockaded. Then it came.

After an institute class a friend of mine made an announcement about a
summer sales job. It hit me like a lightening bolt. I felt so strong
that I should go. I knew this is what I was supposed to do. Against my
complete understanding that this kind of job is brutal, difficult, and
mind-twisting I was filled with excitement.

As soon as school was over, I packed up my belongings and hopped on my
Yamaha and rode out to St. Louis Missouri. The trip was 17,000 miles of
empty space interspersed by extreme yet short moments of breathtaking
beauty. I never thought I’d be happy to see Amarillo, Texas, but after
the long haul through New Mexico and the Panhandle it was almost more
than I could take to see buildings taller than one story. The promise
of my initial paycheck of $600 dollars, which I would receive when I
arrived, kept me going.

Miraculously I made it to my destination.

As it turns out, I didn’t receive payment as I was promised. That
money, or at least part of it, was supposed to go toward new tires for
my scooter (they were worn out by the time the trip was done). Turns
out I would only get it in two halves spread over a month. And by that
time I had run out of money completely. Nevertheless I went to work.
The days were long, starting at around 12:00 and ending at 9:00. For my
first month I only made 4 sales. My roommates did better than me, yet
still nowhere near what they expected. It was discouraging.

Through all this hardship a bond was growing. Mike, John, and Clint
became like brothers to me. I’d known Mike and John since I was six,
and Clint for a couple years yet I found myself closer to them. Vanessa
and Ginger, I’d known a long time and it was great to have them out
here with all of us. In short, these friendships were strengthened and
I have learned something from each of them.

Walking door to door and street to street for eight hours a day gives
your mind more time to think than normally allowed. During this time I
felt an increased desire to be a better person, but not only better,
but more clean and pure. I did not have any sins I had not repented of,
but I began to understand that there was more I could do.

In the midst of this personal growth I took a dive. Literally. Into the
asphalt off the I64 and the 270 freeways. Wrecking my scooter was an
interesting experience to say the least. The result: Road Rash, Broken
Glasses, popped front tire.

One effect was that I could not go out and sell. My left leg was so
scratched up and scabbed over that I couldn’t walk. Imagine having the
most intense sunburn covering a good portion of your lower leg. Then
take that leg to a cheese grater and go to work! That’s about what was
going on with my leg. Needless to say, it kept me form walking much.
Worse, the doctor did not prescribe any pain medication so sleep became
next to impossible.

Thankfully, a friend helped me out and was able to acquire a small prescription for me to help with the pain, which meant I could sleep. My
leg is now all but totally healed (still a few scabs, but no big deal).
I’m awaiting new glasses in the mail, which should arrive any day now.
Soon enough I will be able to go back to work.

The time that I have spent recuperating has been one of learning. I’ve
never received so much love and service from people for so long in my
life. It felt downright uncomfortable for me at first. A friend getting
me a book so i wouldn’t be bored all day. Someone coming over just to
make me dinner. Calls from friends and family. It was an outpouring.
I’m sued to being the one who tries to serve. Quite frankly, in that
role those things can never really be reciprocated in a totally equal
way. That’s ok. It’s not why I do it. But this was a whole different experience to me.

Perhaps now it may seem evident to you why I have a such a  hard time
with the question of whether I had success out here. It entirely
depends on how you measure it. If the measure is the fulfillment of my
expectations to begin with, then no, it was failure. I will be far more
in the whole and set back because of this summer than I could’ve
imagined. However, it was never my idea to do this. I
know that an infinitely knowledgeable and loving Supreme Being wanted
this for me. I have learned more about who I am. I have had the privilege of helping people, and of developing relationships I would
have missed out on had I stayed home. I treasure those people. I hold
those experiences sacred.

Did I have success? I don’t know. I know that I am glad I came here. I
know that I will be glad to go home. I know life’s only going to get
tougher for me, but I trust that all will work for my good. I know that
I was supposed to be here, but I don’t fully comprehend why. There will
be a time when I’m old and wrinkly and I’ll look back on this time.
I’ll stop mid-thought and realize, “ahhh, that’s why!” Until
then, I’m satisfied to know I’m safe and loved.

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Sitting all alone in my apartment in Missouri I really have nothing better to do than put down what actually transpired this past week. So many people have seen the picutres of my mutilated self and asked what happened. I really should’ve jsut blogged it in the first place, but from here on out I’ll just refer everyone to this.

I was riding my scooter to the area I was supposed to be selling in. It was Tuesday afternoon. I remember passing Clint and thinking that I’d better stay ahead of him. I started the day brimming with confidence, feeling that it was gunna’ be a good day. As I was preparing to merge onto the 270 North from the 64/40 I noticed my front wheel wobbling to an extreme. My handlebars seemed to ave developed a mind of their own and I quickly lost control of my scooter. I determined that my front tire had popped sp I tapped lightly and intermittently on the back brake so I could slow the scooter down and pull over. This had little effect on the sidewinder like rotation of my front half. I recall making a choice; either lay the scooter down on the shulder of the freeway, or risk riding face first into much faster traffic.

After that point I don’t remember anything. I must have decided to lay the scooter down because I woke up in a hospital about nine hours later to a nurse informing me she would be pulling my cathater out and that it wouldn’t hurt. That was a lie. Soon enough I gained some sort of conciousness and my friends, I realized, were in the room. We exchanged some jokes and I asked them what hapened. I remember some of the details of my stay at the hospital but it’s all very blurry.

They wheeled me out and brought me home.

The only injuries I recieved are some severe road rash on my left leg and arms, Then a large burn/rash on my face with a delux cut over my left eye with some stellar stictches. I’m sure this’ll become my super villan trademark scar in the future.

Right now I’m jsut trying to heal from the cuts and scrapes so I can go out and work. If I don’t work I won’t have any money, and it’s gunna’ take money to pay for the hospital and the trip back home.

Supprisingly little damage was seen on my scooter. It needs new tires and the engine’s kill swith went off, so that needs to be fixed, but it looks actually alright.

Anyhow, that’s the story thus far. Feel free to send care packages, books, drinks, ointmet or anything my way. Thanks to everyone who’s helped out so much already.

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the way she laughs at her stupid mistakes,
the embarrassment on her face,

the way she will look straight down to her feet,
and her lips will part and collide with her cheek,

the way she tosses her hair out of her eyes,
and looking into them is gazing through the sky.

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